S03E09 – Not everything is a RED FLAG – Ray

00:05
Ali
Hey, everybody.

00:06
Ray
I’m so excited.

00:08
Ali
Of course you’re gonna mess up my intro. You know what? We’re not cutting this out. We’re keeping this one. We are so excited. Anything else to add?

00:16
Ray
Nope.

00:17
Ali
So I’m here with Rahaf. We’ve been talking about this one for a bit, and we finally managed to put it together. I think it’s gonna be fun today. So the format is not particularly set, but we have an idea of what we’re going to try and do just.

00:32
Ray
To give people an idea.

00:33
Ali
I was going to say at least let’s give an intro.

00:34
Ray
Yeah, please, Ola, before the intro, everything we talk about on the podcast are usually things that we discuss over coffee, and then we say, you know what? This should be a coffee episode.

00:50
Ali
Oh, yes. Coffee shisha. Podcast ideas, and then a whole bunch of other things. And we’ve managed to put together some exciting things in the last week or so that you will hear about in the upcoming few weeks or so. So more exciting things to come. So today’s podcast I don’t even want to call it a title. What’s the direction of today’s? The theme?

01:14
Ray
The theme would be things that people misunderstand or mislabel.

01:22
Ali
Okay, I’ll buy that. Mislabel as what? Yes, we’re holding up tiny little flags.

01:33
Ray
We were trying to come up with a title, and then it was just not everything.

01:38
Ali
Not everything is a red flag.

01:41
Ray
Let’s talk about this, because I’m a member of so many groups, whether on WhatsApp or know, and I see a lot of posts from women asking for advice, love advice, or relationship advice, which is common and okay. Until I read what the problem is yeah. Asking if this is a red flag. I’m not going to spoil it yet, but the things that I read, it shows that women should there’s so much space for women to grow emotionally and energetically, to be mature enough.

02:19
Ali
I like how you just threw women under the bus.

02:21
Ray
I did. Boys are just red flags are for both. But because I’m a member in these groups, I get to see a lot of examples from women. So as a woman, hate me all you want, but we have some work to do.

02:36
Ali
Okay. So what I did was I put together a stack of them, and we printed red and green flags. But we know that this is also going to be audio podcast, too. So let’s flag.

02:49
Ray
I’m going to say what?

02:50
Ali
Say the color.

02:51
Ray
But here’s the thing, though. Ali and I, we might not agree on all of these.

02:58
Ali
So I’ll tell you what. If we agree, we move to the next no need to discuss it if we disagree.

03:03
Ray
Really?

03:03
Ali
Let’s see that. Unless there’s something that you’re feeling passionate about, then we’ll delve a little, because with this stack, we might be here 5 hours.

03:11
Ray
Has done a lot of homework.

03:12
Ali
Yes. All right, good. You want to split or you want to read it? Let me do a batch first, and then I’ll give you a batch. I think it’ll better than one.

03:20
Ray
Because you’re a man.

03:21
Ali
You can go first. But I didn’t want you to feel like I was letting women go first because you’re a woman.

03:27
Ray
I go like, shuffle the cards.

03:31
Ali
Shuffle the cards?

03:32
Ray
Yeah.

03:32
Ali
I mean, if you can’t hear me, that’s me not slapping somebody. That’s me shuffling cards.

03:38
Ray
And don’t cheat.

03:40
Ali
What do you mean, don’t cheat?

03:43
Ray
I see the card.

03:44
Ali
It’s not like he’s got the answer on the back. Okay.

03:47
Ray
All right.

03:48
Ali
We’ll start with the softy here. Shared laughter, sharing a sense of humor, and finding joy in each other’s company. Great.

03:55
Ray
I mean, come on.

03:57
Ali
Yeah, but no, I don’t some of my friends are like, my girlfriend doesn’t.

04:02
Ray
Unless you’re dating a drama queen or king.

04:04
Ali
Exactly, because I got friends who are like, my girlfriend doesn’t like it when I laugh too much, and I’m like, no, okay, wait.

04:12
Ray
Yeah, okay, wait.

04:13
Ali
I’m waiting.

04:14
Ray
Maybe it’s the wrong time to laugh. Maybe she’s trying to be serious or to open a subject and he’s just taking it with laughter or psychic.

04:23
Ali
I am sorry. You’re talking about one of those times where he’s supposed to magically read her mind. You’re talking about one of those situations?

04:28
Ray
No.

04:31
Ali
Yeah.

04:35
Ray
We’re going to have so much fun today. Yes.

04:38
Ali
Okay, fine. I got to get back. Here’s the next one. Why did you controlling behavior. Attempting to control or manipulate the other person’s action choices or interactions.

04:48
Ray
Wait, controlling behavior? Of course. It’s a red flag.

04:52
Ali
Yeah, but what if the guy’s like but I know better.

04:57
Ray
Good. Go know better with someone else.

05:00
Ali
Okay, I like it. Okay, here we go.

05:05
Ray
But what is controlled behavior? Let’s give examples. Over jealousy, overprotection gaslighting.

05:11
Ali
No, but this, I think, is more about dictating how the other person should behave in whatever situations. Perhaps. But then again, red flag.

05:20
Ray
So narcissistic.

05:21
Ali
This is very textbook narcissistic code of Ben’s model, so yeah, for sure. Okay. Sexy disregard for boundaries. Ignoring or crossing personal boundaries. Showing lack of respect for the other’s person.

05:33
Ray
Red comfort. It has red all over it.

05:36
Ali
I mean, yes. Red for red.

05:37
Ray
Red in friendships, in relationships, at work with yourself.

05:40
Ali
Agreed.

05:41
Ray
Boundaries are very important.

05:42
Ali
Agreed. Agreed. Okay, next one. Avoidance of responsibility. Not taking responsibly for one’s action, or always blaming the other person for problems.

05:52
Ray
Red. Why are you looking at me like that?

05:57
Ali
I mean, I agree with you, but.

06:00
Ray
You know, there’s a but?

06:03
Ali
Yeah, go ahead, Rita. This is one of those situations where I would agree, but I’ve seen some of the well, it’s not my responsibility anymore. I’m the girlfriend or the wife now. All of it is your responsibility.

06:17
Ray
Yeah, but that goes for too many factors or reasons. One, not healing, not going to therapy, not being self aware, not dealing with past stuff. And two, because you were raised that you’re always right. So parents fault, blaming them.

06:37
Ali
We need a separate box. Parent fault. I’m going to put on this side.

06:40
Ray
Over here, but you know what I mean?

06:42
Ali
Yes. Agreed. Next one. Disrespect. Treating the other person disrespectfully, whether by belittling or dismissive behavior.

06:51
Ray
Yani. Imagine I did this. Of course it’s that. Did you choose all of them? Red?

06:55
Ali
No, it’s a mix. It’s a mix red. Agreed.

06:58
Ray
Okay, I want to read.

07:01
Ali
This is a nice one.

07:02
Ray
Okay.

07:03
Ali
Jealousy and possessiveness. Exhibiting excessive jealousy or possessiveness?

07:08
Ray
I mean, the way you wrote it, of course it’s a red flag, but jealousy is appreciated every now and then.

07:15
Ali
I’m going to go green.

07:16
Ray
What?

07:17
Ali
I’m going green on this.

07:18
Ray
Wait, what? You’re going green with excessive jealousy or possessiveness?

07:24
Ali
Yeah.

07:24
Ray
Which can be a sign of insecurity or control issues. This is exactly what the card says. I know, but what’s so green about it?

07:31
Ali
I left the last line out. I think it’s nice to be jealous and possessive.

07:35
Ray
Oh, my God. That’s like a new series. New season of.

07:42
Ali
So should we change the podcast to Ali and His Red Flags?

07:47
Ray
I think so. I think so. Honor of ali’s red flags.

07:51
Ali
I’ll tell you what. No, let’s assume no, I’m serious. Let’s assume this is a spectrum. How much possessiveness is acceptable?

07:59
Ray
Zero possessiveness. A little bit of jealousy.

08:03
Ali
There we go.

08:04
Ray
Jealousy is so different than being possessive.

08:06
Ali
Tell me more.

08:07
Ray
So you could feel jealous of someone’s presence. Another, like if you’re a man, so your wife or your partner would be jealous of another woman. Okay, but that’s because that could be a sign of two things. One is your partner has some things that are unresolved and it’s triggering a jealousy. Or it’s genuinely because I love my partner, and I would want to know what is the nature of that relation. In that case, jealousy is a good thing.

08:40
Ali
That’s the site I was coming from.

08:43
Ray
Assuming that both of them are in a very good place in terms of communication to communicate that, hey, listen, I felt some jealousy today because of one, two, three. Is there anything going on or is there something to discuss? But possessiveness? Don’t wear this. Don’t go here. Don’t be friends with that.

09:00
Ali
You know how many women I’ve heard say that?

09:02
Ray
I don’t care.

09:03
Ali
They need therapy. This goes in the women need therapy pile. I like how we’re putting piles out.

09:10
Ray
Okay, but you can’t be serious that you’re giving this a green flag.

09:14
Ali
I’m going to give it half a green flag.

09:16
Ray
Oh, my goodness.

09:18
Ali
From the good side of jealousy.

09:20
Ray
We’re not going to be friends.

09:21
Ali
Let’s see. I don’t know if we’ll run through.

09:22
Ray
This stuff, ruin our friendship.

09:24
Ali
Okay, we still got a lot to go. Let’s see.

09:26
Ray
Let’s see. I want to breathe.

09:28
Ali
This might be our last podcast together. All right, next one. Unhealthy addiction. Struggling with substance abuse or gambling or things like that. Yeah, definitely financial irresponsibility. Poor financial management, like shopping. The fact that you responded with shopping to what I said, poor financial management says that in itself, girl, is a red flag. I mean, raha red flag to you.

09:59
Ray
Do you see me shop a lot? But I’m asking what kind of poor financial decisions you need to be very specific because people can go on vacations.

10:10
Ali
Well, it says irresponsibility. At what point is irresponsible?

10:13
Ray
But it’s all about perspective. What you see irresponsible. I could see it a need.

10:18
Ali
So pick a color, girl.

10:20
Ray
No, you have to give me examples first. Is this ruining someone’s life and future? Is it a matter of life and death?

10:28
Ali
Okay, let me put it into a structured example. Spending beyond your means for non necessary things.

10:36
Ray
Okay, that’s a red flag.

10:38
Ali
A holiday you can’t afford.

10:40
Ray
This is a red flag.

10:41
Ali
This is stupid, Same. Agreed.

10:43
Ray
You see, even my earrings got pissed.

10:48
Ali
Okay, dishonesty, consistently lying or being deceptive.

10:51
Ray
Wait, I’m going to ten red flags. No, this is for me is unacceptable.

10:58
Ali
But how many times in a relationship have you seen people being dishonest, get busted and then make up some bullshit excuse and then the other person being acceptive of it a lot. But why is this such a red flag immediately for us it is.

11:17
Ray
Okay, wait, when people feel that or feel the need to lie to someone, it’s because they don’t feel safe enough with that person. So I think it’s all about providing a safe space, a genuine safe space.

11:32
Ali
But this only happens when you’re coming from a place of honesty to begin the relationship and not based on lies.

11:37
Ray
Of course, there would be no strong foundation if you’re being dishonest and lying. So I would say dishonesty would be a red flag. Especially when being deceptive. I don’t like that part, being deceptive about important matters like, hey, surprise. To give you an example, I saw a post the other day that a woman found out that her husband got another woman pregnant. Now this is being deceptive about important matters. Not only he cheated, but he made someone else pregnant and she did not hear it from him. That is a red flag.

12:16
Ali
You think? Yeah, most definitely a red flag. Agreed.

12:20
Ray
You know what I mean?

12:20
Ali
Yeah, I get you.

12:23
Ray
I mean, if I would think of all the times I had to lie, it’s because I didn’t feel safe enough or I felt I would be judged or whatever it is. And then I just now choose the right people to be with. You know what I mean?

12:36
Ali
Well, before we go on to the next one, you made me think of something. When is lying okay in a relationship?

12:43
Ray
I wouldn’t say lying is okay, but I would say there’s a line between having secrets or being private.

12:49
Ali
Oh, agreed. Private is something else.

12:51
Ray
I would be private about stuff. He has the right to be private about other things, but no secrets.

12:58
Ali
Agreed. And then henceforth no lies.

13:01
Ray
Of course. No lies.

13:02
Ali
I like it. I like it. Next one isolation from loved ones. Isolating the other person from their friends and family.

13:10
Ray
That has my mom’s name all over it.

13:13
Ali
Major red flag. Major red flag. Anytime we had one of the guys, he’s like, oh, I can’t come out. My girlfriend, my wife won’t let me.

13:19
Ray
It goes both ways.

13:20
Ali
I’m not broke. Yeah, bro. This ain’t too good.

13:24
Ray
Give me cards.

13:25
Ali
Here you go, ma’am.

13:27
Ray
Thank you. Let’s see. Unwanted pressure. So pressuring the other person into activities, decisions, or commitments they’re uncomfortable with.

13:44
Ali
I’m not going to give it any.

13:46
Ray
Flag because I was just going to.

13:47
Ali
Say because sometimes there’s decisions that need to be made. You can’t exit out of it. Sometimes you need to be involved in difficult decisions. So it’s not red or green.

13:59
Ray
It’s in between. On the context.

14:01
Ali
Yes, agreed. I think it’s very contextual. But you can’t avoid decision making completely.

14:05
Ray
Not just that, but if someone wouldn’t go to a water activity, I’m going to pressure that person to come with me to a water activity.

14:15
Ali
I don’t know about that. I don’t know about that one. What if they’re scared of sharks or something?

14:20
Ray
Girl, why would you find a why? No. All right. Emotional, unavailability.

14:31
Ali
Oh, red flag for me. Big time red flag. Big red flag.

14:35
Ray
He’s not going to change.

14:37
Ali
Yeah, I think I was literally about to say that. Shin ain’t going to change.

14:41
Ray
You can’t fix, ladies.

14:43
Ali
You can’t fix him.

14:44
Ray
All right, boys. I’m just being picky right now. Let me see.

14:48
Ali
Not fixable.

14:49
Ray
Oh, all right. Encouraging independence. Supporting each other’s independence while maintaining a strong connection.

14:57
Ali
100% green. To me, somebody who doesn’t do this is a big red. It’s not a neutral.

15:05
Ray
It’s a non negotiable.

15:06
Ali
For you, it’s a non negotiable. How could you not? In my mind, how could you not?

15:11
Ray
Well, when you’re dependent, well, that’s a different problem.

15:16
Ali
We’re going to have bigger piles to put all these in. Good. Next one.

15:20
Ray
Okay. Frequent mood swings or extreme anger that create an unstable and uncomfortable environment.

15:28
Ali
Where’s therapist pile?

15:30
Ray
How frequent? I mean, you can’t avoid mood swings.

15:35
Ali
I understand mood swings, but if it’s frequent yeah, but how? And if it’s intense? Within reason, but I don’t know how you would define reason.

15:45
Ray
There’s so much drama in the cards. Let’s say that. Oh, yes, you’ve exaggerated. Yeah, but mood swings are okay. It’s when they create an unstable environment that is not okay.

15:57
Ali
So mood swing is okay but not when it gets to unstable.

15:59
Ray
Okay, agreed. Justify my mood swing.

16:03
Ali
Okay. Agreed on that.

16:04
Ray
Perfect. Having a disagreement. Occasional disagreements are normal and can even lead to healthier communication.

16:14
Ali
I’m okay with disagreements as long as they’re not. No, I’m okay with disagreements.

16:18
Ray
Green flag when were having coffee.

16:21
Ali
Yeah, I’m okay with disagreements as long as they’re in a form of communication. I’m not okay with fighting. Fighting to me is not a disagreement.

16:29
Ray
Like raising voices and stuff.

16:31
Ali
There’s no need.

16:32
Ray
You can be passionate. Well, that’s different about the topics. Why? You’re so young.

16:37
Ali
Yes, but again, no need. There’s a line that you notice immediately that gets crossed. That gets crossed when the volume goes up, when the anger starts to come in, when there’s no logical and there’s no addition to any logical value to the argument or to the discussion. You’re not bringing anything new. You’re just raising your volume. You don’t have a point left to make. You’ve got no legs to stand on. But now it’s just become an ego thing because I’m better, I’m bigger, I’m smarter, I’m louder. What? That doesn’t add. I understand disagreements. I never understood arguments. Why would you let it get to the point of an argument? This means something happened wrong along the process of your communication. Makes sense, at least in my mind. Right. And I’ve seen people who by nature just flare up in a second. Right, okay, I understand you’re going to get hot, and then you’re going to cool down, and then you’ll be okay.

17:26
Ali
That might be the person’s nature, but kind of looking like an average to average things out amongst people. I don’t see a reason why there have to be arguments. I understand disagreements. You will always have a different perspective to somebody else’s perspective on whatever it is. Me with a lot of my close friends, we disagree on so many things, but we always are still operate, and you and me saying we’re the same, we disagree on so many things, but we always maintain respect. Oh, yes, but we maintain respect for each other. We maintain that respect, and at the same time, we’re open to listening to what the other person has, and we are also open to adding more information and knowledge to our perspective and maybe shift it and maybe not shift it. But whether it shifted or not the perspective, we still hold respect for each other’s choice, even if it might be different.

18:14
Ali
But why does it have to escalate to argument? I’ve had friends who have had for decades. We have never gotten to an argument. We have gotten into heated discussions, but never an argument.

18:26
Ray
Because I don’t I like the distinction. I like the distinction. I think we mix things up. I’m okay with heated discussion. Yes, I’m definitely okay because that’s where.

18:37
Ali
I think you might be passionate about something. Yeah, I have heated discussions with a lot of my friends about recycling, and I’m like, Why you got to mess with my plastic straw? And they’re like, oh, save the environment. I’m like, I don’t think so. Show me the data. And that’s where my passion for the plastic straw comes in. We don’t talk about vegans on this show.

18:58
Ray
All right, let’s do one card from you. One card from you.

19:00
Ali
Okay, I got OOH, unresolved past issues. Bringing unresolved emotional baggage from past relationship to current relationship.

19:08
Ray
Red, red.

19:10
Ali
Yes.

19:11
Ray
We’re not going to talk about that.

19:13
Ali
Big red flag. Fix your shit, go to therapy. Exactly. Before you decide to drag somebody else into your life. Not cool.

19:21
Ray
And not have kids.

19:23
Ali
Oh, this is a whole other issue. This is a whole other issue.

19:26
Ray
Poor dogs. Having a life outside the relationship. So pursuing individual interests doesn’t mean that a relationship is less important.

19:35
Ali
Great.

19:35
Ray
For me. It’s please have a life outside the relationship. For the love of God.

19:40
Ali
Yes. Not only have a life outside, but please do not suffocate your significant other. Oh, my goodness. Let them breathe. They’re not running away to marry somebody else.

19:50
Ray
It’s not just that. It’s also adding more pressure to one person to play all of to fulfill the role fill gaps, which is wrong. Enough of that.

20:02
Ali
Agreed.

20:03
Ray
Okay, your turn.

20:05
Ali
Is it all right, social media activity. Liking or commenting on other posts? Let’s assume it’s the other gender’s posts.

20:14
Ray
What kind of posts? I’m a woman.

20:20
Ali
Okay, why don’t you give me the example?

20:22
Ray
I mean, are you liking by you I mean men. Let’s give an example for each. So if men are liking bikini pictures your red flag.

20:32
Ali
No.

20:32
Ray
Okay, there you go. So that’s a red flag. But if he’s liking day to day stuff, no intentions. Not getting.

20:43
Ali
Best Amazon fines. Yeah, no problem on that.

20:46
Ray
He’s not going to like that.

20:47
Ali
I do.

20:48
Ray
Oh, my God.

20:49
Ali
I should have my own best Amazon fine channel at this point, the amount of garbage I buy.

20:53
Ray
But what kind of woman would post something on Amazon find no ton of women post stuff.

20:58
Ali
Look at this tupperware and look at this.

21:00
Ray
All right, I’m sorry, excuse my ignorance. Okay, in that case, it’s a green flag. I’m being sexy.

21:05
Ali
This says a lot about the type of feed that you have and I have in our socials.

21:09
Ray
My feed is what have you been looking?

21:13
Ali
All right, so is it green or red for me? Well, in between depends on the situation. Red depends situation. Yes, depends on the situation and intention. Red and green.

21:25
Ray
Perfecto.

21:26
Ali
Good.

21:27
Ray
Showing vulnerability.

21:29
Ali
Oh, green.

21:30
Ray
I don’t have to read green, but come in. Wait, so I have something to add to this. Like being comfortable, showing vulnerability and emotional authenticity. Great. But really, would you like to be with a person who cries all the time?

21:45
Ali
Oh, I didn’t say cry baby, I said vulnerability.

21:47
Ray
Okay, just because I know people will ask about no. Did you hear that?

21:52
Ali
No.

21:53
Ray
It’s for one person. Vulnerability is for people who cry all the time.

21:58
Ali
No, you want to hear that you need some regulation. If you are crying all the time, something’s off. I’m not saying or you’re just a liar. Yeah. I don’t have an issue with people crying, but situational and subjective.

22:11
Ray
Yeah, that’s true. So it’s a green vulnerability.

22:15
Ali
My turn, of course. Disregard for consent, ignoring or violating consent, whether intimate situations or in general.

22:23
Ray
Red.

22:24
Ali
Oh, massive, massive red.

22:26
Ray
Big red. Big red. Big red.

22:27
Ali
Yes, ma’am.

22:28
Ray
Okay. Europe mutual trust. Trusting each other’s intentions and actions without constant suspicion.

22:38
Ali
Oh, green. Of course.

22:41
Ray
Why would I be with someone I don’t trust?

22:43
Ali
I’ve seen tons of relationship where there’s no trust. I’ve seen relationships where you better be sharing your location at all times.

22:52
Ray
I know people who do that.

22:54
Ali
But for the sake of safety is different.

22:56
Ray
I just want to know where you are.

22:58
Ali
But that’s it. I have tons of friends who share their location with me. They’re like, Ali, there’s something wrong. I need you to know where I am. I’m like, okay, just don’t do anything stupid, but I will come get you.

23:06
Ray
But in this case, like, looking for proofs of something that doesn’t exist, and then you’re going to manifest something. Just FYI, this is how it works. Or looking at your partner’s phone, that’s a red flag for me. The difference or the line would be, I’m okay with if you want to do something, feel free to open my phone, but don’t do it behind my back. These are the agreed sneak behavior I don’t like.

23:35
Ali
All right, this one’s always a trouble.

23:39
Ray
Getting the ooze. Give me your ooze.

23:41
Ali
Here, you swap? Give me that. Okay, what I’ve got is friendly with ex partner, maintaining a relationship with an ex.

23:52
Ray
This is the one. I thought we’re oh, wow. You said red.

23:55
Ali
Red.

23:56
Ray
I genuinely thought you’re going to go green.

23:58
Ali
Close that fucking door, please. Please do not drag previous relationship no, do not drag previous relationship into your current relationship. If you were in a relationship with somebody and it has not worked out, this is black and white. Close it. With only one exception. If you’ve got kids and you’re co parenting with that one exception.

24:20
Ray
That’s not the only exception to me.

24:21
Ali
That’S the only exception. Tell me, what do you have? Because to me, that’s the only exception.

24:25
Ray
I feel we should start to normalize. Healthy breakups.

24:29
Ali
Healthy breakups? Yeah.

24:31
Ray
If I had a healthy breakup with an ex, it’s okay not to be friends. We cannot be friends, but we could be on good terms and not badmouth each other, behind each other’s backs. No, stay on good terms. That’s it.

24:43
Ali
No, I like that. It’s not about the good terms. Just stay neutral. But you don’t got to be friends with your ex if you’re friends with the ex. This is, to me, a red flag immediately. Either there’s something unresolved or you haven’t let go or you haven’t processed or you still have feelings or you never had feelings. It’s a something. Why are you going to cook with a something and to me, it’s not healthy. And honestly, to me, it’s not even fair to bring I’m okay. Talking to all my exes into a relationship with somebody that’s going to create trouble. This is a recipe for disaster. Unnecessary. It’ll create jealousy. Now is my friend because we’re mature and we’re going to be friends with our exes. I don’t buy his bullshit, but I’m going to get a nice text message. I’m going to giggle and laugh, and then my partner is going, who’d you get a message from?

25:31
Ali
Oh, it’s my ex. And all of a sudden, you put this person in a horrible feeling. Why would you do that? Why would you want this person that you claim you love and care about, why would you want to put them in a horrible state? That what is this person laughing, giggling with their ex about?

25:45
Ray
Yeah, that’s true. That’s true. Yeah, I agree. It is a red flag. I’m sorry. I thought you’re going to go green, though.

25:51
Ali
Oh, no. I’m a very firm believer that when doors close and sometimes God closes them for you, do not open them. The universe, if it has closed the door for you, do not open those doors again, because you need to look forward, because guess what? There’s better doors and windows ahead of you. Don’t go back and open the ones that were closed.

26:13
Ray
Yeah.

26:14
Ali
If it didn’t work well said. And you genuinely gave it a shot, it didn’t work, there’s a very solid reason. Leave that door closed straight.

26:22
Ray
Fair enough.

26:23
Ali
Europe.

26:24
Ray
Well, perfect card after this history of cheating.

26:30
Ali
A red flag. Stab them with a red flag.

26:33
Ray
I don’t even have to read all of it, but a pattern of cheating. Okay.

26:39
Ali
All right. Spending time apart, spending time with friends or pursuing individual interests. To me, not only is this a green flag, this is a must. Exactly. Let your significant others and we don’t.

26:51
Ray
Have to be friends with each other’s friends.

26:55
Ali
Thank you for saying that.

26:56
Ray
You’re welcome.

26:57
Ali
But there is a red flag on that side. If someone’s not comfortable introducing to their.

27:03
Ray
Friends no, that’s different. We go back to the lying and stuff.

27:07
Ali
If you’re not comfortable introducing me to.

27:09
Ray
Your friends no, but I mean, okay, it’s when you’re, let’s say, hosting a birthday party. All right. One big mistake that I’ve learned. Never invite all of your friends in one room because there are categories for friendships, and they can’t be in one room exactly the same when you are in a relationship.

27:30
Ali
Good. No, I did.

27:33
Ray
I just did. Me talking about past relationships, like sharing past experiences, doesn’t always mean the person is dwelling on the past. Yeah, of course. But it also depends on the context.

27:46
Ali
Yeah, it’s context and subject to what information there is.

27:49
Ray
Then it’s a red flag.

27:50
Ali
Yeah. If you’re not asked at all, there’s a red flag. But for example, I would like to know. I definitely don’t want intimate details. But what I would like to know is what were your previous relationships?

28:01
Ray
And for example, not concerned. Curious? No.

28:04
Ali
Curious.

28:05
Ray
Let me think.

28:06
Ali
So I would say like, okay, what were your previous relationships? Why do you feel they didn’t work out but only share if you’re comfortable.

28:13
Ray
No, I wouldn’t say that.

28:14
Ali
I would say that.

28:15
Ray
No, I wouldn’t say that. I need to know why the relationship ended. Yeah, no, I need to know because he would ask and I will answer. No, I will not say if you feel comfortable.

28:27
Ali
And then to follow up would be like, let me call your ex and verify your information.

28:32
Ray
I won’t do that. I was toxic. Hell no. Hell no.

28:37
Ali
That girl Craig.

28:38
Ray
Craig, she the toxic one. No, but I mean.

28:44
Ali
I had know.

28:45
Ray
Why their relationship ended.

28:46
Ali
I agree, but I have an interesting point. I had a friend who recommended a fantastic business idea, a dating app where you get evaluated by your exes.

28:55
Ray
No. With this amount of walking red flags and mental illnesses. No. It’s very bad business idea.

29:05
Ali
Okay.

29:05
Ray
No one would be honest anyway.

29:08
Ali
All right. Incompatibility fundamental differences in values, life goals and future plans.

29:15
Ray
It’s not a red flag. But to me you can’t be with someone you’re not compatible with. That’s the thing. That is not a red flag. Red flag means it could be a strong preference. It could be, but you know what I mean?

29:34
Ali
Fundamental difference in values.

29:35
Ray
Fundamental, of course. Okay.

29:37
Ali
To me it’s red flag.

29:37
Ray
For me, I would be with someone with the same values. He has to have the same values, but I don’t care about other stuff because at some point he’s either going to influence something he likes and I would be either curious or excited to learn about and vice versa. But I don’t have to practice what he is interested.

29:57
Ali
Agreed.

29:57
Ray
You know what mean. So in that matter, I feel attacked. All right. Occasional forgetfulness.

30:09
Ali
Occasional forgetfulness?

30:10
Ray
Like dory me, you mean occasional forgetfulness is okay?

30:13
Ali
No flags.

30:14
Ray
No flags. Forgetting small details or dates occasionally doesn’t indicate lack of care. No, this is okay, I’m a dory guy.

30:21
Ali
I got no issues.

30:22
Ray
That’s me.

30:24
Ali
Wait, I had an interesting conversation about this somebody occasional or red for me, no flak. But I’m going to pick on this a little bit. So occasional forgetfulness is okay. But what if your birthday was forgotten or anniversary?

30:38
Ray
If it wasn’t intentional, I would ask.

30:42
Ali
Forgetfulness is not intentional, is it?

30:45
Ray
Sometimes. Because there are reasons why people forget. It’s either it’s not important enough so your memory blocks it, or you have so many things going on in your mind. So it doesn’t mean someone doesn’t care. But if it’s important to me that he remembers my birthday, I’m going to add it to his fucking calendar.

31:00
Ali
I like that response because what you said is I’m going to put the effort to make. Sure that this person remembers.

31:06
Ray
Put it as a reminder.

31:08
Ali
Put it as a reminder. Thank you very much.

31:10
Ray
And I’ll act surprise.

31:11
Ali
I love the you don’t need to read my brain type up approach to relationships is good. Okay.

31:20
Ray
Just to add one thing. If you make a fight about these things, you lose the gift. You really want that? Yeah.

31:29
Ali
Okay. Effective communications, openly discussing feelings, concerns, honesty and respect. Agreed. Green flag. Good. You’re up.

31:39
Ray
Maintaining independence. So valuing personal independence doesn’t necessarily mean avoidance of commitment.

31:46
Ali
Yeah. Green flag. Yeah, green flag for me also. Yeah. This is simple. At least it should be simple for us.

31:53
Ray
It’s a duh.

31:54
Ali
Yeah, duh. Okay. Having a strong support network, close friends or family, to me it’s a big green flag because, look, I know people who are independent, but I’m not going to give you a red flag if you’ve got family and friends who are supportive of you and you have a good network and a healthy relationship. But the red flag, what about if it was reversed?

32:16
Ray
So not having friends or family, is that a red flag?

32:20
Ali
No, also not a red flag because I know people who are very hyper independent. But my red flag would be is if this network has strong influence negatively. Negatively, yes. Okay.

32:31
Ray
We agree. Expressing emotions differently. Some people may show affection and care in ways that differ from your own style.

32:40
Ali
Yes, for sure.

32:41
Ray
But that also goes back to the compatibility part.

32:45
Ali
Languages, not just compatibility, but I think communication because compatibility to a certain extent, yes, but then the next part of that compatibility is communication.

32:55
Ray
But if you have a red flag.

32:56
Ali
Not a red flag, if you haven’t communicated how you feel to be appreciated, that’s on you. Literally. Before you came, I was talking to the ladies in the office upstairs, and I was running through some of these, and it was interesting how between the two ladies, one was red and one was green on some of them. And the one I was like, yeah, I don’t want morning phone calls. Hey, good morning, or text messages, good morning, I hope you have a lovely day, and was like, oh, I want them all the time. I love that stuff. I’m like, both are fine, but you got to let the guy know.

33:27
Ray
Yeah, true.

33:28
Ali
If you haven’t let the person know, how are they magically supposed to know you like or don’t like? True morning message.

33:33
Ray
But, you know, one very common problem that I hear about on this is that he’s a good man. He’s okay. He does this. He takes care of me, but he doesn’t tell me how much he loves me. So her love language is words of affirmation, but his could be acts of service or quality time or whatever it is. So I think it’s communication.

33:54
Ali
It’s communication.

33:55
Ray
Yeah, you’re right.

33:56
Ali
Equal partnership, contributing equally to relationships, decision making, responsibilities, efforts.

34:03
Ray
Why are you skipping cards?

34:05
Ali
Some of them are very close and repeated.

34:07
Ray
I see. I’m doing this.

34:08
Ali
Yeah.

34:11
Ray
Goes back to communication, because what does partnership mean? How much I feel it should be done from the very beginning of the relationship to talk about responsibilities, roles and investment.

34:27
Ali
Agreed? Agreed.

34:28
Ray
Thank you.

34:29
Ali
Yours.

34:30
Ray
Where’s my man? All right. Having ambitions, pursuing personal goals and ambitions doesn’t mean someone is neglecting their relationship.

34:39
Ali
Yes, but for sure green.

34:42
Ray
It’s a green. But you need to also let that but not at someone know that I’m someone who have this on my list that I want to talk about, I want to work on.

34:50
Ali
But to me, you can’t be at the cost of the relationship. There’s a line there. If you’ve got a partner and you are supportive of ambition. Right.

35:01
Ray
What if both of you are ambitious?

35:03
Ali
Then support each other.

35:05
Ray
There you go. Then it would be at the cost of their relationship at some point. That is going to be 50.

35:10
Ali
No, it doesn’t have to be 50. But that’s the synergy between the two people. When you are in support of each other’s ambitions, you’re automatically supporting the relationship, too. But this goes again back to the same problem. We don’t have the right type of communication between people.

35:25
Ray
All right. A green flag.

35:27
Ali
Yes. Asking for space, requesting time to think or process. Green flag. The number of people green. To me it’s green. But I’ve seen so many people. You need space.

35:40
Ray
Why would he need space when I’m here? You need space.

35:43
Ali
Join NASA. They got space. It’s a meme.

35:47
Ray
Right. Rapid escalation, moving too quickly.

35:52
Ali
Red flag. That’s a major red flag.

35:56
Ray
Like moving too quickly in the relationship, which can indicate a lack of genuine connection or what we call love bombing.

36:02
Ali
Love bomb? Yeah. No. Supporting alone time. I think we talked about that already. Lack of communication, showing nervousness. Nervousness around somebody you care about if.

36:18
Ray
I’m not your partner.

36:20
Ali
No.

36:21
Ray
Nervousness in front of no, you’re nervous.

36:23
Ali
With your partner or the person you’re interested in.

36:26
Ray
Why am I nervous?

36:27
Ali
I don’t know.

36:30
Ray
I mean because nervousness shows either lack.

36:32
Ali
Of safety or you’re hiding or I’m lying.

36:36
Ray
Oh, that kind of nervousness. I went to another direction. Sorry. Showing nervousness. Yeah. It could because I’m hiding something, but there’s plenty no, I would not raise any flag because nervousness has many reasons.

36:55
Ali
Okay. Yeah.

36:56
Ray
I think I’m maybe social anxiety.

36:58
Ali
Yeah. No, I wouldn’t put any flag on this. I think this is something that needs to be understood.

37:02
Ray
No flags. But just tell them you’re nervous. We talked about that. Why I don’t get any OOH stuff here.

37:13
Ali
You like this one.

37:19
Ray
All right. Different communication frequency. Oh, my God. Not texting or calling as often as you might prefer doesn’t necessarily signal disinterest.

37:28
Ali
Wait, restructure it. How am I going to vote on this?

37:32
Ray
Yeah. What’s that? That’s true. So it’s a green different communication frequency. Could be a green flag.

37:40
Ali
Yeah. It’s not a red flag.

37:41
Ray
It’s not a red flag.

37:42
Ali
But I know so many people look at it as a red flag.

37:46
Ray
Tell me about it. I know people who would like to be texted and called every single day for every minute for me. If you do that, I’ll block you. I’ll put your name at the airport. You won’t be able to move. No. For me, morning text is okay. Good night. Text is okay. In between day. You want to check in, fine. But that’s it.

38:09
Ali
But that’s it.

38:10
Ray
Don’t you pick up the call unless I really love you. If I don’t love you, if I haven’t said that I loved you don’t pick up the call. The phone.

38:16
Ali
Okay.

38:16
Ray
So, yeah.

38:18
Ali
Interesting. Healthy conflict resolution addressing disagreements.

38:22
Ray
Why would that be a red flag?

38:24
Ali
Yami is a green flag. I mean, well, not doing it would definitely be a red flag.

38:28
Ray
Yeah, that’s true. Okay, you’re not raising any flags anymore.

38:31
Ali
I’m holding all the notes.

38:33
Ray
Hold it in one hand. See, men can’t multitask.

38:35
Ali
This is too much. You’re asking of me? Yes, ma’am. Your turn.

38:40
Ray
Fine. We said that respect for differences, embracing differences and being open to diverse perspectives.

38:52
Ali
Yeah.

38:54
Ray
And please don’t use those differences as an excuse in your arguments.

38:59
Ali
Oh, that’s another big one. Yes.

39:01
Ray
You’re welcome.

39:02
Ali
Yeah. Having different interests, having hobbies or interests that are different from your own.

39:07
Ray
The more interest the better.

39:09
Ali
And the more fun flag.

39:12
Ray
Okay, just a second. We won’t be having the same opinion on this one.

39:23
Ali
Okay. Why are you so happy?

39:25
Ray
I don’t know. I just want us to have a different opinion on something. Disinterest in compromise, refusing to compromise or find solutions in disagreements leading to repeated conflict. You’re so dramatic the way you are. It was flat narrating that. But refusing to compromise is something and refusing to find solutions is something else.

39:52
Ali
So I think refusing to compromise for me is a red flag.

39:56
Ray
For me it’s not. What am I compromising on? Why am I compromising?

40:03
Ali
Well, depending it’s situational. Right? But in most situations look, there’s only a handful of scenarios. Let’s break it down.

40:11
Ray
Let’s simplify.

40:12
Ali
So there’s two people having a discussion about something. One person’s got a perspective, the other person’s got a perspective. So the only outcomes there’s only a few logical outcomes. One person, a’s outcome is the correct one or wins, whatever it is. Person B’s outcome wins and A accepts it. Right. Or A and B both agree on something, a new something, not A’s or B’s, but a new version of it. Or they both stick their ground and disagree.

40:42
Ray
The alternative. Which is?

40:43
Ali
C. Yeah.

40:44
Ray
Third option. Yes, that’s an alternative, not a compromise.

40:47
Ali
No, the alternative is a compromise because you let up your option or you adjusted your option.

40:54
Ray
How is my option affecting you?

40:56
Ali
No. You had option B. I had option A. We want to go out and eat, right? I want to get burgers. You want to get pizza. I don’t want to get pizza because I had pizza yesterday. You don’t want to get burgers. You had a.

41:09
Ray
That’S a very simple.

41:11
Ali
Yes, but you didn’t get yours. I didn’t get mine. We both compromised and got Sharma option C. That’s what I’m talking someone who’s refusing to even go to option C is a problem. That’s the red flag I’m talking about.

41:22
Ray
In that case, it’s a red flag. But in general, I’m not a big, huge fan of compromising.

41:30
Ali
Agree to disagree.

41:34
Ray
Your turn.

41:35
Ali
Oh, last one. Minimal contact at times. Sometimes life gets busy. Reduced communication. Red flag. Or not. Minimal contact. Sometimes life gets busy. Communication gets reduced.

41:47
Ray
In a relationship or a friendship? Friendship is fine, but relationship let’s agree on how frequent are we going to text?

41:56
Ali
I think as long as you communicate.

41:58
Ray
Give me a heads up that you’re going to be busy and I won’t hear from you.

42:01
Ali
Yes. As long as that’s done, I’m okay. If that’s not done and you’re doing.

42:04
Ray
This, I’ll be anxious.

42:05
Ali
Ghosting. Semi ghosting thingy. You’re burning bridges.

42:08
Ray
Yeah, that’s true. All right. Does that mean I should just pick one?

42:13
Ali
Pick whatever you like.

42:15
Ray
All right. Making future plans. Talking about future plans doesn’t necessarily indicate clinginess. It can show commitment.

42:23
Ali
Oh, a green flag.

42:24
Ray
Yeah, but how long have we been dating? It could be a red flag. If on the second date, hey, let’s get married.

42:30
Ali
Well, that was the moving too fast part, right?

42:32
Ray
Okay, true. Yeah. Green flag.

42:34
Ali
Yes. Green flag.

42:35
Ray
All right.

42:37
Ali
Are you giving me two? Thank you so much. Active listening. Green flag. People, listen.

42:46
Ray
Come in. Come on. Lack of support. Not being there for red flag.

42:53
Ali
Red flag. Straight support of individual growth. Encourage personal growth. Yeah. Green flag. If somebody’s not going to support your growth, I mean, that’s just why are you in a relationship? That’s just dumb.

43:07
Ray
Why would I be with someone?

43:08
Ali
Exactly.

43:09
Ray
Thank you. We don’t have the complete sentences anymore. I like that the last one. No, actually, this is the last one from the cards, but I have one.

43:21
Ali
Oh, I’m coming to that because I got something, too.

43:24
Ray
Okay. Empathy and understanding. Being able to put yeah.

43:28
Ali
Green flag. Green flag. All right, we out of cards now, but I know Ms. Rahav got some stories.

43:35
Ray
Plenty, but I’m not going to share them all. But you said you have something for me.

43:39
Ali
I always have.

43:39
Ray
You go first.

43:40
Ali
Which one? What was I talking about?

43:42
Ray
Other red flags.

43:43
Ali
Oh, there’s tons of red flags. People are red flags all over the place.

43:47
Ray
Agreed.

43:48
Ali
Getting into relationships for the sake of getting into relationships. I’m lonely. I want to be in a relationship.

43:56
Ray
Well, when you said I’m lonely, it became a red flag. But, I mean, if people want to.

44:00
Ali
Have hookups but I’m talking relationships, not hookup type of scenario. That’s a whole different tangent.

44:06
Ray
Like an emotional Band Aid?

44:08
Ali
Yes.

44:08
Ray
Oh, my goodness. Red flag. Go to therapy.

44:12
Ali
Yes. And I know a lot of people who are in these type of because you dependent, don’t want to be alone type of relationship.

44:20
Ray
When people do that, there’s a big chance that they are ruining a good person for the next person.

44:26
Ali
Oh, my goodness. That’s literally what I’ve said to so many people. I’m like, you’re ruining a person for the next person and you don’t deserve.

44:32
Ray
To screw up their life.

44:33
Ali
I’ve had some tough discussions with people over the years.

44:36
Ray
I agree. No, I support this than not being in a relationship.

44:41
Ali
Well, okay, I’ll tell you what. Why don’t you ask me scenarios that you’ve seen women raise potential red flags about, and I can give you the guy’s perspective, or I could give you.

44:50
Ray
What my old self used to do as a toxic wait. If a man we’re not being serious here. I hope you get that. If a man is using a WhatsApp business? In his chatting and texting and communication, what do you think?

45:13
Ali
WhatsApp business versus WhatsApp personal? Yeah, he’s being professional.

45:19
Ray
But why would you need a professional? WhatsApp?

45:21
Ali
That’s how he’s showing commitment.

45:23
Ray
To whom?

45:25
Ali
I don’t even know. Why would you use a WhatsApp business account? Why would you outside of business?

45:33
Ray
I use it all the time. No, that makes me a walking red.

45:36
Ali
No, but outside of business, why are you using unless you only have one line and you’re, like, for example, a freelancer or an independent worker?

45:43
Ray
Would you break up with someone just because they have a WhatsApp business?

45:47
Ali
No.

45:47
Ray
Okay, that’s what I well, my question.

45:49
Ali
Would be, do you have a personal line? If they don’t have a personal line, then it’s fine. They’re just using that same number for everything.

45:56
Ray
Who cares? It’s just a space to communicate for me.

46:01
Ali
I’m not particular one way or the other. I don’t see an issue. All right, if you’re asking if it’s an issue, no issue.

46:07
Ray
Yeah, women make it an issue now.

46:09
Ali
Yeah. No, I don’t see it as it.

46:11
Ray
Got added to the red flags list anyway. So what do you want me to share with you? Situation sure. Or scenarios? Situation that I find as a red flag or women find as a red flag.

46:23
Ali
We got enough time for maybe two situations. Tell me.

46:28
Ray
Oh, sorry. I just apologized to the mic. Okay.

46:32
Ali
I think shisha is our Motivator.

46:34
Ray
I think so. We should have a shisha next time. No, but I think we’ve covered most of them.

46:38
Ali
We’ve covered a lot.

46:39
Ray
The funny ones are literally silly ones. But the whole point of this is literally to stop calling everything a red flag. Not everything.

46:54
Ali
What are they doing? Are they over red flagging or are they ignoring red flags? Which way?

46:58
Ray
They’re over red flagging? Like now we have reached a point in women’s groups. I keep talking about these groups because I’m there if a man breathes red flag. So what’s two things here? Two major things are going on. One is why are we still asking for relationship advice from non experts? We exist for a reason. By we, I mean experts go to an expert and ask for an advice. Afford them chat, GBT.

47:27
Ali
No, that one’s easy. They don’t want advice. They just want somebody to yes. They just want somebody to agree with that victim’s mindset. So that’s why they ask these places.

47:36
Ray
Who am I to tell you if this is a red flag or not? Because the advice we give to other people you and I know that it depends on your experiences, your level of awareness, your knowledge, how have you worked on your past traumas or not, the baggage and all of that. Based on those factors, I’ll be giving the advice, but in no way I’m more expert than you are or in a place or a position to tell you what to do with your relationship. Stop asking bullshit advice from in bullshit places.

48:04
Ali
Well, I’ve got an interesting one. A lot of people I’ve spoken to over the years, they get into relationships, and I’ll give you the women’s perspective. From the conversations I’ve had with women, they have a tendency to ignore a lot of red flags. Oh, it’s okay. But he’s really good with this. Well, there’s two sides of it. He’s good with these five things. So because of that, I’m going to average out the red flags, and they’re just pinkish. Now I’m going to dilute them. That’s the first lie I feel they tell themselves. And the second lie they tell themselves is, I’ll fix whatever is not according to what needs to fit the cookie.

48:40
Ray
Cutter change of time.

48:42
Ali
I don’t know. This is just theory of mine. I think they’ve bounced from these type of relationships to the point where they just flung themselves to the other side where, you know what? Everything’s a red flag. There needs to be a cookie cutter perfect guy that’s going to fall from this guy going to look like Jason Momoa or Henry Cavill and knows how to cook and foot massage and all that shit.

49:04
Ray
Look at you.

49:06
Ali
But short of that, everything’s red flag.

49:10
Ray
Yeah. You think that’s what’s going know? Okay, one thing I cannot blame women on is that a lot of men have showed enough proof that women cannot trust men anymore based on immature behavior. So that’s a lack of awareness and maturity from men’s side. But the thing that I blame them for is that not doing anything about it. And keep complaining like, yes, if men are not mature enough to take you on a date and treat you properly, that’s not just on him, that’s also on you. So go. I want people to stop treating or looking at therapy as something that what do you think is wrong with me? No, it’s just you becoming a better version of yourself because if you’re still attracting people who are emotionally unavailable means you are emotionally unavailable.

50:04
Ali
You’re doing something.

50:04
Ray
You want a relationship, you want to be available, but there’s something still need to be healed.

50:09
Ali
You need to work on it. Yes, agreed.

50:10
Ray
But instead of doing the work, I’m just going to go and call everyone a red flag and just people are not good enough for me and I’m too good for them and I’m this and that and ask sorry to say it, but other losers. What do you think?

50:26
Ali
I think I agree with you. I think you’re right. I think a lot of this has to do with self growth. A lot of this has to do with healing. There’s trauma that people have from childhood that’s carried over and carried over in ways that they don’t realize. And I think the single largest impact point is relationships because now you’re bringing two complex people into the same space, and if there isn’t synergy and if there isn’t overlap and if there isn’t quality, build and support for each other, it’s going to create noise. It’s going to create a lot of noise. And after a while, that noise and that friction will just burn out the relationship.

51:08
Ray
I’m sure I’m going to get a lot of comments. Why don’t you take apartment? When it comes to men in relationships, I feel the main issue would be them healing, parental traumas or wounds.

51:20
Ali
Oh, agreed.

51:21
Ray
Once a man heals a mother wound or a father wound, he would be able to be with a woman.

51:27
Ali
Agreed. I can’t tell you the number of times we’ve seen a perfectly good female.

51:34
Ray
Looking for a mom.

51:35
Ali
Yeah. I mean, hanging out with a guy who is beyond incompetent, we’re like, this guy’s a boy.

51:40
Ray
Yeah.

51:41
Ali
And all of us are like, what is she doing with him? Why is she mother him? And then we realize, oh, she’s looking for a project. That’s what she’s doing. That’s the project she found. And we’ll give it how much? Two months. Six months? Three months.

51:57
Ray
I swear I did that in a couple’s wedding. I swear I was at a wedding and I was like, two months. I was, like, two months. I swear. Two or three months. They got a divorce. Not too proud, but I mean well, sometimes it’s obvious.

52:13
Ali
Well, to wrap up, I think the takeaway is we need to start with ourselves. We need to heal ourselves, and then we need to look at the person on the other side and say, look, if I’m looking for a healthy future, what are the characteristics and traits that match with mine or complement mine and.

52:30
Ray
Then build on don’t ask for something you’re not able to give.

52:36
Ali
Exactly. Agreed. And on that, thank you very much. Rahav, this has been great.

52:40
Ray
Is a green flag.

52:41
Ali
Oh, hell, yeah. See you on the next one, guys. Thank you for listening in. And one day, we will get some sponsors. Until then, we’re open for offers.

52:52
Ray
Suggestions? Coffee would be good. Chocolate not too bad.

52:57
Ali
Dear sponsors, how are you doing? Call me. All right. Bye bye. We’re out. Bye.